Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
