So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
