You smell like stripper and shame
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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