Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
