I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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