Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
