we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
