I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
