New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
