is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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