I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
