True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
