I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize