i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize