I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
