And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
