also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
