Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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