I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
