Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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