Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
