I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
