But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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