brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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