Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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