I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize