Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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