this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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