My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
