That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
time to smoke my breakfast
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
