You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
