my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
