Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
