Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
