This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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