we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize