oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
