belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
