Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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