It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
