I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
