is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
