fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
