4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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