erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
