she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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