I seem to have left my pride at pride
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
