once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
