I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize