you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
