Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize