Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
