I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
