he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
