Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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